Crisis , Chilling , Carefree and Capitalism.

Even as a girl in primary school, I was aware that money came with choices,abundance, opportunities, and a million alternatives. The world has always favoured and valued the rich. I was privileged enough to have a roof over my head, a loving and supportive family, and the kindest people in my inner circle. But as I became more self-aware, I started associating money with something else: helplessness, powerlessness, and a lack of control over my own life.

Before we get into that, let’s understand how our modern-day economy works. I’m a commerce student, and this is my takeaway: our economy is capitalist.

What is capitalism, actually?
According to Adam Smith, the 18th-century philosopher and “father of modern economics”:

“It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest.”

Which basically means: people act in self-interest. And capitalism runs on that idea.

As a teenager in this system, how does it affect me?
In capitalism, even education is treated like a product—not a basic right. It’s become a market where students are the customers, and success is measured in economic value. The best schools, the top universities those always benefit the wealthy. Meanwhile, underfunded schools and struggling students are left behind, even if they’re working ten times as hard.

And even after all the saving, hustling, investing, workaholism, and sacrifice, many of us stay stuck in the same place—because there’s always someone with more generational wealth. It’s not just burnout. It’s internalised capitalism.

What is internalised capitalism?
It’s when society’s obsession with productivity and money quietly becomes your own. It’s when:

• You feel guilty for taking breaks

• You think you should always be “doing something”

• You find it hard to rest or stop overthinking

• You tie your worth to how much you get done

• You feel shame when you don’t meet certain “standards”

• You constantly seek validation and feel like nothing is ever enough

• You can’t stop, slow down, or take time off without feeling like you’re failing

And humans suffer in multifarious ways. Much of this suffering, even in its extreme forms, can turn out to be functional if we care to look deeply enough: it may be a call to change, or the organism’s protest against what is harming us or holding us back, or the inevitable outcome of waking up psychologically. Such functional suffering, in my experience, is highly liable to become “dysfunctional” if it is misunderstood or mistreated or wrongly pathologized/stigmatized.

Honestly? These aren’t just personality quirks or “bad habits.” These are symptoms of the world we live in. This system. And it’s not your fault.

We’re told we can’t complain because we have it “better than others.” But we’re all drowning quietly under a system that only values us when we produce, when we profit, when we succeed on their terms.

So what now?
You don’t need to “earn” rest. You don’t need to monetize every hobby. You are not lazy for needing peace. You are not broken for feeling exhausted. And when things feel like too much, I do the things that make me feel like myself again. I crochet. I read. I make playlists for people I love. I go on long walks. I talk to someone I trust (I promise they are there to help you and get you through the rough patch). I journal, or just rant on paper. I write for myself.

Basically: I go out and touch some grass.

End of the day, even if you have very little control over it, just try to let go instead of holding on so tightly because sometimes change itself means adapting to it and growing with it, instead of resenting it so much.

Thanks for reading. Ani in agony today. I’m a beginner writer, so let me know if you have any feedback. Byee <3

Reference- 

 - https://asjp.cerist.dz/index.php/en/article/258871

- https://www.imf.org/en/Publications/fandd/issues/Series/Back-to-Basics/Capitalism

- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-biology-of-human-nature/202309/how-capitalism-is-making-us-sick?utm_

- https://embraceourcalling.com/book-review-the-end-of-burnout-jonathan-malesic/?utm_source